I might be wrong

My second week back State-side has come to an end and this week was more stressful than I could have ever imagined. 

I finished all of my course work for my internship in Germany. The professor was impressed with my quality of work and my comprehension. She said that I would have received an "A," if they did grade scales. Since it was an internship, they only grade through pass/fail. 

I started back at work on Thursday... finally. Although it is kind of a bummer because everything is different. Well, not everything, but almost everyone is new or gone or complaining about something or someone. It just very exhausting and slightly annoying. I'm ready to be a teacher, not a servant.

I came back from Germany and thought that everything was going to be better than when I left, I was more than wrong, in almost every aspect of my life here. 

Especially with Phil. After work on Friday, I headed up to Erie. I'm glad I went to finally hear him out and stop talking in circles over the phone. I am still not completely sure where this is all coming from or where it is going, but I gave him back the ring and we are on a "break."  (I'm telling you all this so no one asks me about it or about him or if he is excited to have me home, or vice versa, or what we are going to do now that I'm home... etc etc etc. I don't want to talk about it outside of what I'm typing now. I'm not ready to talk about it outside of these typed words.) 

In some aspects, being home is more scary than being abroad.

Things to do this week:

-apply for a job in the Virgin Islands.

-talk to my boss about vacation days and taking off for the Roessler Family Reunion!

-print my pictures from the past 4 months. I roughly have over 3000 and my dad's credit card...

- start running. (I am hoping this is something that I can get into and hoping it will help me concentrate and clear my head.)

-clean out my closet (I much prefer the layout of my closet in Germany over this mess here.)

-get rid of unwelcome reminders.

-laundry.

-get rid of the 2 garbage bags of clothes I have sitting in front of my closet.

-figure out what I am doing for my birthday. 

"is this what everyone from tennessee does; bombard the northerners?"

Dad, Jordan, Maddie and myself headed south for the weekend. We ended up in Nashville Tennessee. At first I was a little hesitant, but always being up for an adventure and a chance to explore a new city, I hopped on board. I ended up really loving the city. It is small and filled with saloons, good food and music. The music pours out of everyone there. It pours out of the alleys, the bars, the bathroom stalls, music even plays at the corner of some of the street lights. Of course we acted like tourists the whole weekend. Dad even bought me a pair of cowgirl boots, which are darling. We went on a duck tour, visited the country music hall of fame and museum, went on a ghost tour (which wasn't ghostly), went to the wildhorse saloon (where i plan to return one day and date a bartender from there), went to a renissance festival (weirdos), rode a camel and had a barbeque. it was a really great time with daddio and the girls. i think we all had a really great time. :)

so much has happened in the past 3 days, i don't even know how to handle it all. i am on emotional overload, they are all going a-wall. i think i need to go on a drive...these past two weeks have been excruiating and exhausting. so many different emotions and experiences, ignorances and goodbyes have exploded and exposed themselves out of almost everything and everyone i have known. i was completely numb through the entirety of the viewing and funeral service. that is until i was standing in front of his daughters grave and the headstone that i drew.

This was really cool. For my (step) Pap.

Hers.

This is going back to its owner. 

Well the one who bought it anyways.

 Sorry about the exploitations of my non-travel related life. 

hit the ground running

sleep is for the weak.

i am finally home and kind of situated. my bags are all a mess and i havent had an opportunity to unpack or take a shower. and its monday. 

my flights on saturday were brutal. very exhausting and frustrating. on the way here, the kids tv wasnt working while i was watching 'australia'. i had about 10 minutes left of the 2 and a half hour movie, and the kids had the guy turn off our tvs. i was ANGRY. so needless to say i have no idea what happens at the end of the movie. so then i watched valkyrie with tom cruise. it seemed apporpriate. i do have to say that i did enjoy it alot and tom did a very good job. long flight. ugh. i also got some homework done. we landed in philly around 330. it took a while for us to get our luggage, go through customs, go through security, etc. by the time we finished all of that it was about 530. steven picked me up and we got something to eat in philly. i would like to visit there. i have been driving past the city since i was born basically, atleast 3 times a year, and i have never actually been there until saturday.

i didnt arrive in pittsurgh international until about 1009. i walked down the stairs towards the baggage claim and there they were; granny, mama and erin. the perfect people to pick me up. we didnt end up leaving the airport until about 1100 or so. the drive home was long, i was tired. it had been about a 21 hour day. i only slept for 45 minutes on the flight from philly to pitts. so as you can imagine i was exhausted. 

yesterday and today were funeral activities for susies father, my step-pap, all day yesterday and today. ive been moving non-stop with family obligations, sadness and other priorities. its been exhausting. and overwhelming, especially with all the family news i have just been informed these past two days. geez. give a girl a break.

right now i am putting off my papers that i need to finish. ugh. 

erin kitty and i are on my bed watching wally. im on facebook/blog, she is looking at swim suits, kitty is licking herself :) i have missed them.

people keep asking me if i am excited to be home. 

lets put it this way....

i didnt want to leave.

but im glad i am home...

5 little ducks

it was my last day at the center today. 

i cried a little. 

later that night i went out with patricia and natalie. well we got chinese food and then natalie and i went to play pool. it was a good night. tomorrow is my last day... ugh...

im packed (mostly)

papa bears gone

me and trent
meg and me on the swings 
vapianos
i paid 50 cents euro to go in this toiletten. they played music in there. it was humid too. i didnt use the toilet. i just wanted the experience.
trent (papa-bear) and me on a tree in a park in germany.
the kurhaus / casino
me... jumping...


it was trents last night, so we wandered around wiesbaden, went out to eat, and just had a great time before he left. i am going to miss that kid...

my internet is FRUSTRATING ME!!!!!

cleaning, etc

ive been cleaning.

we went to a futbol game

i went for a walk.

did some more cleaning.

i had a drink.

Muttertag

this is where i conquered.
we had an adventure today. i will discuss more later. details will follow. 

promise promise promise. 

but for now....

Happy Mothers' Day MAMAN!!! i love you! less that one week! (CAN YOU BELEIVE THAT!>)

halo

we visited Mainz today. did you know that their dom cathedral is over a thousand years old? just like that man. (kidding.) and they have the gutenberg museum there, which has the first printing press. interesting.

"mommas coming... and ice cream"

we had "mothers' day sundae" at the center today. parents came to eat sundaes with the kids.

this girl annabelle is wearing a beatles shirt, when you ask her who is on her shirt she says "papa" and points to paul mccarthy or john lennon. her papa explained that she thinks it is his band's tshirt. 

she doesnt like to eat her sundae with her toppings on it. she eats them all separately. 

she is easily one of my favorites. 

we made these poems with the kids handprints at the bottom, some of the moms cried. it was a really great day. one of the best ive ever had here. 

its a hard knock life...

for the past three days, I have been the acting lead in the toddler room. It is me, with 2 new staff. one is lazy, the other is eager to learn and helps me as much as he can (which I really appreciate) but it isn't as much help as I need. Now this doesn't bother me all that much because I am the most qualified to be the lead, but it would be nice to have someone else in the room with me who knows what they are doing and the procedures so they can help, especially when i have to change pee filled pants.  They cant be left alone with the kids yet because they aren't fully trained, so that means no break for katie. Most of the time I feel like a single parent of 13 two-year-old kids. The room is cutthroat. I don't know who will survive. I almost didn't make it out alive today...

rosy cheecks

its been one of those days... (that is not a celebration drink....)

before

before i started packing....

happy cinco de mayo chicos.